“The first thing we do for parents of a child with a newly diagnosed disability is to hook them up with a parent support group,” says Don Meyer. “Siblings need the same kind of peer support but routinely are denied this consideration.”

According to the Sibling Support Project, brothers and sisters may feel:

• Anxious about what the disability or condition means – and whether they can “catch it.”


• Worried about their siblings future. Isolated if friends don’t understand.


• Guilty because they don’t have the condition.


• Embarrassed if they have to cope with negative comments from peers.


• Resentment if parents attention revolves around the child with a disability or the child is indulged. “Johnny’s ‘special’. How come Johnny doesnt have to carry groceries up the stairs?”

See What parents can do (right) for tips on minimizing these concerns.

It’s important to remember that research shows that siblings of kids with disabilities also have unique opportunities that shape their lives in positive and profound ways: compared to their peers, they are more accepting of differences and more likely to include others, more mature and independent, and they have a greater appreciation for their families and for their own health.

A 2004 Journal of Family Nursing study found school-age children who have siblings with multiple disabilities scored significantly higher in co-operation, assertiveness and self-control than peers with typically-developing siblings.